Three Weeks Past the Cross (On Catching My Breath)

BY: TCLeach at

Last night the dishes weren’t even stacked from dinner before I was sound asleep, fully dressed, on top of my quilt. My dreams were fragments of thoughts and information,  much like the past three weeks have been for me here in the awake world. Little bits of this and that fluttered through my slumber, like pieces being sorted that will eventually transform into a lovely picture like on a jig-saw puzzle. I awoke at 4:30 in the morning with a start, with full realization of how exhausting even exhilaration can be! Doors are opening in my life even as others are closing. And here am I in the hallway, sorting through puzzle pieces, as I contemplate which doors are swinging in which direction. Without doubt, this girl needs a chance to catch her breath! And so for now, I have designated Tuesdays for me to do just that. Catch my breath. No teachings, no well-meaning messages from missionary friends. No studies outside of the daily Torah Portions. Just a day to breath, and absorb what the week has thrown at me. And to share the experience with you, so that you know you are not alone in the whirlwind that accompanies walking away from the cross. I have The Sabbath to rest my spirit/soul, and body. For now, Tuesdays will be to rest this brain, which literally hurts from trying to soak up all of this new information,  while simultaneously answering all those well-meaning friends. Geesh, I even got a message from a stranger this week, concerned about my soul!

I’m so thankful that HaShem doesn’t expect me to fit this puzzle together in one day! For now, like with an actual puzzle, I am okay with getting the outside edges in place. The frame, if you will. He is the frame. Alone. All of the other pieces will drop into place as I walk with my path lit by the Light of His Torah.  Understanding  that He alone is the frame is key here. That’s what I cling to when I begin to drown in information. Him alone, and that’s enough. He sustains me, and allows me to just curl up in The Strong Tower, as I sort through pieces. To make matters a bit tougher, some of the pieces I’m sorting are leftover thoughts, falsehoods planted by the writings that call themselves the “new” testament. I know that they are false, but I find them still ingrained in me, nonetheless, and they still pop up daily. These pieces would result in a different picture altogether, with the One True God sharing His glory and having someone who is His equal, which goes completely against His own Words.

“To whom then will ye liken me, or shall I be equal? saith the Holy One.” (Isaiah 40:25 KJV)

Please note that my use of KJV is only for its familiarity, so that no one can say I am quoting from a new or “special” translation. Even with the liberties the translators took in the KJV, the truth still shines through (as well as the discrepancies). He will not share His glory, and He will not tolerate us having any other gods.

So yes, Tuesdays will be for me to give my brain a break, and to summarize which pieces will get placed in which pile to build this new picture, and which will be permanently removed from the box. You see, I’m just going to have to change that one thing about how I think…Everything!  The entire way I look at my Heavenly Father and His Kingdom to come is a different picture than the one that’s painted from the book of Matthew (which wasn’t written by a dude named Matthew) on. I’ll have to rethink hell, tribulation, dying to self, how I look at enemies, even how I look at sin! But not on Tuesdays, my friends. No, not on Tuesdays.

Here, then, is the summary of what I have learned this week. The first section is on dealing with the backlash that will come from friends and family, and believe me, it WILL come, until they eventually deem you unredeemable and damned for eternity, and leave you (blissfully) alone.

First and Foremost…
*Pray, and wait for guidance before any encounters with those camping out at the cross. This is too hard to handle without HaShem, and the promptings He is faithful to give.

*Keep your explanations very short and simple. Do not waver on your point.

*Expect them to expect you to backup everything you say with Scripture, and expect them to copy/paste the whole slew of verses they use for standing where they stand. DO NOT get into that contest just now, it is not the time. If you are just walking away from the cross, you have much to learn before you can stand with authority.

*Expect to receive many copies of teachings about how Yeshua (Jesus) was prophecy fulfilled. When you receive them, relay your genuine thanks, and tell them you have already taken all of these supposed “proofs” into consideration, but found them lacking when viewed in context, and in light of Torah.

*I found it helpful to tell them that I would share the questions I had, but not the answers I found. So much turmoil has come from people accepting answers that others give, instead of searching it out for themselves. The truth is written, in Torah and through the Prophets. Anything that doesn’t align with that must go! If they want the answers, they can dig for them like I did.

*Lastly, and unfortunately, you can expect most people to be angry at you. In rejecting their Jesus, in their eyes, you are rejecting them, too, calling them wrong, even if you never used the word.

Without doubt, one of the two groups of people who profess YHWH to be God are wrong. Those with Yeshua, or those without. I now stand without him. I stand in YHWH alone. If I am in the group that will be considered wrong, we will be wrong based on what HaShem said about Himself all through the Tanakh. That He is One and He alone is our Salvation. If the other group stands before Him as wrong, it will be because they worship two gods. Of the two wrongs I could be (being only a simple human) I will stand with the first group anyday, based on HaShem’s own words!

The other thing I have learned this past week on this side of the cross is that I have so much more to learn! And I type that with a smile on my face because I am so looking forward to the learning! Once I am past all the naysayers (which I pray will be soon) I can dig in to unlearn what I thought I knew, and allow YHWH’s Words to sink in at face value, instead of having to twist them to fit Yeshua into that Torah. Here are some tips to keep from becoming overwhelmed by the perspective that comes from looking through a new lens:

*Recognizing HaShem as One is paramount. I have been starting my day by reading these verses, to see how this concept is repeated, over and over. Check this out:

So much more powerful, I think, when viewed together. And these are only SOME of them!

*Get into the Torah Portions. But take off the Jesus glasses first! Daily portions can be found on many web-sites, a google search will pull up a plethora of them to chose from. There is no better place for you (or me) to be then immersed in The Father’s Word!

*Learn the history of your bloodline to the extent that you can. We know that HaShem is regathering the Ten Tribes, do you know if you’ll be counted among them? Please note that if you cannot locate this information, don’t stress. The Father knows, and He will handle getting the right information in front of you. This is where I am. Almost sure, but not quite positive (because I was adopted) that Jewish blood does flow through these veins. Until I’m sure, in Scripture,  I am considered a foreigner, a sojourner, still quite able to abide by the statutes in place for Israel, and welcomed by those walking in them. In Hebrew, I am called Ger. If this is where you are, you can learn more by following this helpful link:

*Find a mentor, and find a Jewish community. Many have walked away from the cross before us, and have a treasure trove of information and inspiration. Do not isolate yourself, instead  surround yourself with His chosen people! I have found the knowledge these new friends of mine hold to be so very valuable. If you cannot get to a temple for instruction, there are as many videos on youtube from Rabbis as there are from pastors. Watch some teachings from the Jewish (and Hebraic) perspective. I have found a few Rabbis who address the very issues we may face, and there are so many web-sites full of good information! Dig a little.

*Don’t forget the importance of prayer! During this time, we must be spending more time alone with HaShem than we are spending in new teachings, or in defending our decision to others. It is during this intimate time with Him that we are fortified, and our minds can receive more clarity as we read the Sacred Scriptures. When we spend this time with Him, doubts are crushed, fears are soothed, and we are able to fully understand that this is all about Him and His plan, and not even a little bit about us.

*Lastly, designate some time for your own brain break. A day to sort through all the mental notes you’ve jotted. It’s okay to not understand everything all at once. It’s okay to shed a few tears for the friends who dumped you. It’s okay to realize that there are some that you are going to have to dump, as well. Once you see HaShem as One, it is sure hard to follow along while someone else is giving all praise, honor and glory to a different name.

I’ll “see” you next week! Know that if you are one of the ones being called away from the cross, I will be praying for you. Shalom!

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